Guarding Your Neighbor’s Reputation
When we talk about the “Art of Neighboring,” we often think about ways we can serve our neighbors through hospitality and kindness. I was reminded recently that another powerful way we can care for our neighbors is to choose to speak the best about them. In the book of Exodus, we are taught through Abraham’s failure that we should be careful about speaking the truth to them. Specifically, we are taught: "You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor." (Exodus 20:16 ESV) I believe being a good neighbor means actively protecting the dignity and reputation of those around you. At first it might seem to be a strange thing to care about, but I have noticed that my neighbors have the tendency to “pick sides” like a World Cup fan. Who are you cheering for, who are you cheering against? In the end, we can cause a lot of pain through a little gossip.
In the book of James (James 3:4-5), our tongue is described as a spark that can light a fire, or a rudder on a giant ship. Proverbs is pretty clear about the danger of gossip as shown in the following passages:
A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer [gossip] separates close friends. (16:28 ESV)
The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels; they go down into the inner parts of the body. (18:8 ESV)
For lack of wood a fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, quarreling ceases. (26:20 ESV)
In ancient Israel, defaming someone or spreading unverified rumors could destroy their livelihood, tear apart their family, and alienate them from the community. The Bible warns us against the casual destruction of another person's character through gossip, slander, and malicious assumptions. A godly neighbor does not treat a neighbor's mistakes as entertainment or something to gossip about. Instead, they should protect the person's dignity when they are not around to defend themselves. I have found in my own life that when you speak badly about others to others, they know you are prone to speak badly about them as well. I think we can go a long way to deepen our neighboring skills by deepening our ability to speak well of others.
Mark Twain and Nikola Tesla had a unique friendship. During the late 19th century, Tesla was a brilliant but eccentric inventor who faced frequent public ridicule and media slander from those who accused him of being a bit crazy. Twain, who was one of Tesla's neighbors, frequently visited him and used his immense public platform and sharp wit to write articles defending Tesla’s sanity, integrity, and genius. Rather than joining the public mockery or staying silent to protect his own reputation, Twain used his voice to preserve Tesla’s dignity. It was a special gift to Tesla and one that helped both of their reputations.
I am working to grow in this area, choosing not to initiate or participate in conversations that speak negatively of any of my neighbors. I am trying to grow in my ability to actively redirect the talk by highlighting that person's positive traits. I guess it’s a practical application of the golden rule, and I know it can go a long way towards helping to deepen my relationships with some of those “extra grace required” neighbors in my life.
Expectantly,
Shawn
P.S. Please join me in praying for Ed and Amy Brosky and their family, as they mourn the loss of Ed's father Bruce, who passed away last week. His obituary is here - a graveside service with military honors is planned for August 1.
